On a hot Friday afternoon of September 1st, 2023 I had to say goodbye to my beautiful orange tabby cat Julian.

I still refuse to acknowledge his absence. I hoped we had more time. Losing him so soon after my cat Bradley lost his battle to leukemia was shocking to me. I am still processing their loss.

I first met Julian at the Koneko Cat Cafe, located in Downtown Manhattan, and meeting him was a pure coincidence. We were almost ready to go, when a women working there said, “We have another cat, but he is new here and only wants to stay in the closet. Do you want to see him?” We opened the closet and there he was, a very handsome older orange tabby cat, sitting and kneading on a bright red bathroom mats, terrified of the situation.

I knew from that moment I saw Julian’s eyes that I could not leave him there. He deserved a better life.

Based on the Animal Control Center (ACC) online records, Julian’s original owner passed away and Julian ended at the shelter. He apparently used to live with a cat named Romeo, but there was no sign of Romeo. I found it very sweet of his previous owners to name their cats Romeo and Julian, but I was never able to locate Romeo. Julian was pulled from the ACC by the Anjellicle Cats Rescue and placed in the Koneko Cat Cafe, where I first met him.

Thus, after lots of discussion Julian joined us in the Bronx.

Anxiety in cats manifests in many ways, but for Julian it was at another level. At night, he would jump on the door handle trying to escape. He was very strong and he was able to hand on the door knob for quite some time. He would do this for days. I could calm him down by taking him to the bedroom, but the second I would fall asleep he would be right back at the door.

He learned very quickly that to wake me up all he had to do was to pull my hair. I would sleep in a hat for a few weeks. Luckily, little by little, he began to calm down and I could get some sleep.

Despite all that, Julian was sweet and gentle with people. Ha was never a lap cat, but he was a true orange tabby – loved his food. Sadly, soon after we got him he was diagnosed with kidney disease and had to be put on a kidney diet. Anybody who has cats eating kidney diets will attest to how much they despise it. With time, he accepted his dietary fate, but he managed to sneak some treats in.

Julian had a special relationship with my husband over ice cream. He knew every single time when a box of ice cream left the freezer. He would sit by my husband, staring at him with his big yellow-green eyes until he got a tiny bit.

Over the last 2 years of his life, Julian battled many chronic conditions. His veterinarian was trying to address them all, but it was a real tug of war. Over the years he was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease (CKD), heart murmur, small B cell lymphoma, arthritis, and anemia. Quite a large list for a 12-year old cat. Despite his conditions, Julian was doing well for quite some time. This was mostly due to the excellent care and wholesome understanding of his conditions by his veterinarian team.

Julian’s kidney disease was progressive and a major culprit to all of his problems. His CKD was a slow enemy lurking in his body slowly and steadily gaining speed. With time, Julian’s kidneys’ refused to produce erythropoietin, a hormone which signals the bone marrow to make new red blood cells and that eventually led to anemia. One way to assess anemia is to look at hemacrit, or the percentage by volume of red cells in the blood. Cats with a hemacrit of 25% are considered anemic. Julian’s counts ranged between 19-14.

We tried to help his anemia with a darbopoietin shots, which aimed to replace the erythropoietin made by the kidneys to stimulate the production of new red blood cells in the bone marrow, B12 supplementation, and transfusion, but got very little to no response. To fully recover, he would need a kidney transplant, and that was not something I was willing to put him through, even if he was strong enough to survive it.

We started running out of medically feasible options. Julian’s veterinarian saw no other option, but humane euthanasia.

I loved Julian so much, and this decision was not taken lightly. I could not watch him unable to walk and eat on his own, probably felling horrible as his kidneys were not filtering waste products properly. It was heartbreaking to see him in that state.

I hope Julian had a wonderful couple years with us. He was a true loner, as he never truly bonded with any of my cats. He tolerated them, but preferred his own company. As an introvert, I fully understood this attitude, it mad him special and easy to relate for me.

As days pass by, I still miss his company. He will forever remain in my heart. I wish for more people to adopt older cats, they are wonderful companions and return their love readily.

I love you Julian.